Farthest Distance
by Archangel Barton
Summary: [senru] He knows his distance. He knows his limits. And all he can do is to cherish the time, for he knows this is the farthest he can get. Rukawa’s POV.


Title: Farthest Distance  
Author: Archangel  
Pairing: RuSen  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: He knows his distance. He knows his limits. And all he can do is to cherish the time, for he knows this is the farthest he can get. Rukawa's POV.

Notes: Finally, a fic for as long as I can remember. This fic goes out to all SenRuSen fans and to my dear SenRu-mons from baki-mon to simple-mon up to neko-mon and steffie-mon. Love & Peace, ok?  
Date: September 4-5, 2006/11:00PM-1:42AM

**Farthest Distance**  
By Archangel

"See you tomorrow Captain!"

It's been three years since I entered Shohoku High. Three years since I became part of Shohoku Basketball Club. Three years since I first entered Shohoku's basketball court. Three years since I was a rookie, now I stand as captain, as Rukawa-taichou. Three years since 11, now it's 4.

Three years since I met him…

And now, we're meeting again, like we do every day… for the past three years.

I took my worn out bike, that which took me to school for the last three years, and pedaled my way southbound to where I shall wait for my eternally late rival – and friend.

Him.

We shall play a game, the game we both fell in love with.

I'll play a game with Him, the man I fell in love with.

Yeah, I biked my way to an isolated court. A court apart from Shohoku. A court apart from Ryonan, no, it's Tokyo U for him now, and there I will be playing the same game with a different opponent, one who is much stronger... more tougher than anyone I've ever played against today, yesterday – or any given day.

Him.

That one who I only beat on occasion. That one who I always wanted to surpass.

Him who I always wanted to outshine.

Him who I wanted to forget… but then I can't. Because.

Because…

I looked up the horizon and figured it was getting late. The sun had set and stars are slowly popping out of the sky. The darkness slowly eating the light, and to me it seemed as if the moon was swallowing the sun… just like him consuming me whole.

Then I felt the wind, it was damn cold. I slowed my feet down a bit, not because I was freezing but because I wanted to suppress the excitement. I was thrilled to see him it was maddening… and in fact I am mad. I wanted to see him badly, him who I saw in the glimmer of the stars. Him, who I wished embraced me like the wind – but who would instead give me warmth, apart from this chilling sensation I feel every time I wished he'd love me.

And I hate it. I always hated it… every time I thought of how hard I fell, of how much I loved, I hated it. And it's not just anybody, it was somebody. That somebody was you. Why you?

You, who if you never knew you'd think as arrogant… overconfident.

You, with a hair cemented up high – enough to be mistaken as a broom to clean your own pad.

You who was never prompt. You who's forever late, except on my mind… because of all the things that came up in my head, you always came in first.

You were always punctual… in my mind.

And I hated it. It would've been anybody else, but it had always been you. Why you?

"Why you, Sendoh?"

Why you, Sendoh Akira?

You're lazy, sleepy. You have a twisted sense of time…

And a weird fishing hobby to boost.

At this point, I'm thinking if I was also talking about myself… I had to laugh.

But I don't know. I really don't know.

What I know is, I like… no, I love… **now** I love you.

You bastard.

Finally, I arrived – in this secluded court, with the heavens yet again witnessing my fall. Countless of times did the heavens saw how you made me fall. Countless of times with countless witnesses, but you never knew you're doing it.

You have no idea how you're doing it… but you do.

I parked my bike by the court side and scanned the area. As usual, you're not here. What's new right? You're not yourself if you're not late, with the exception of my mind, that is.

Tired as I was, I lay myself down on the pavement, breathing slow and deep. Body relaxed and steady, but my mind traveling… wandering. Flying to the thought of a person named Sendoh Akira.

Him. Again.

Every single day that the gods created, the more deeper I fall.

And in those every single day, you looked different in my eyes.

I don't want to sound like shit, but damn, why do you look so damn good?

So damn beautiful. I can't help but fall.

Every single day.

Yeah, every single day.

And again, I hate it. I always hated it. Sometimes I thought to myself, what if I ditched you? What if I just disappeared, hide… somewhere. Somewhere you won't see me.

Somewhere I won't see you.

So that I'd stop thinking about you, everything about you. All the beautiful things about you. The conceited, ego-driven bastard that you are, with your hair like that… and the hours I waste waiting for you, the days I spend thinking and dreaming about you... maybe not seeing you would make me forget about the greatness of you.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

And I think not. Because I won't be able to stand it. It's not worth living every single day without the sight of you…

Without the feel of you…

The thought of you…

The sound of your voice…

The smell that's only you…

You.

It's not worth it without you, for there is nothing more beautiful… nothing lovelier to me than you.

Your smile, your eyes, the way you gracefully move. Your body, your soul.

You. Nothing is worth more than you.

All that you have and all that you don't. Everything that you are and what you're not.

Nothing is worth living for without Sendoh Akira.

And being with you, even if it just like this, is heaven to me. For in every day that I come to know you… in every single day that I feel your heart, see your soul, read your mind… I come to love you more and more.

I can't help but fall… deeper than I used to be, every single day.

But I know, it's clear… to what point I stand and am allowed to stand.

It's crystal clear that this feeling, this love is only up to here.

Even if at some point in my life I tried to imagine how it would have been if there was more to friendship alone… I know I'd be happy, no, indescribably happy, that I'm sure of…

But I'm not stupid. I'm no dumb.

"Yo, Kaede!"

I know reality – and I live on it.

"Got caught in traffic. You here long?"

And this thing in my heart, it's all mine.

"Long enough to sleep."

You'll never know and you'll never even sense.

"But you sleep in nanoseconds."

Because I know for a fact that at this point I'm already standing on the line.

"Not today."

Right now, I'm already on the edge… hanging on the limit of what can only be between us.

"Gomen, but you're used to it, right?"

And I will stay here, not advancing further…

"Is there something I can do?"

But I don't intent to back out either.

"Well, did you have sweet dreams?" A smile, you just gave me one of your beautiful smiles.

"Nightmare."

As dubious as it may seem, but I'm content. I know where I stand and I'm satisfied with this distance.

"Then it's good that I came to wake you up, you should thank me."

I know where the line ends and I'm already standing on it.

"Hn. Thank. You."

No further can I go. I've already accepted that.

"Thank me by winning over me. Ready?"

This is the limit.

"Always. It may be you who's not."

I may win the game, but he always won my heart.

Then you smiled that smile again, that which brings me to my knees. You must've known you always won over my entire being and that I can't deny.

"With you I'm always more than ready."

It's heartrending but I'm happy… because not all can reach this distance, this close of a distance… no one.

With that, I have no right to complain.

And with that, I'm contented.

With this distance…

In your world…

With you…

Even if it's just like this.

-end-

Post Notes:  
Reviews appreciated. Don't take my life just yet.


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